DIRECTORS
Jon M. Chu
WRITERS
Ryan Landels
CAST
Aubrey Peeples
Stefanie Scott
Aurora Perrineau
Hayley Kiyoko
Molly Ringwald
Isabella Kai Rice
Barnaby Carpenter
Jason Kennedy
Nathan Moore
Juliette Lewis
Ryan Guzman
Justin Alastair
Mischke Butler
Samantha Newark
Christopher Scott
Marcei Ann Brubaker
Jackie Tohn
Ken Baker
Britta Phillips
Phillip Chbeeb
Nicholas Stewart
Kelsey Landels
Jessica Keller
Ryan Hansen
Quddus
Christy Marx
Hana Mae Lee
Eiza González
Kesha
Alicia Keys
STARS
Aubrey Peeples
Stefanie Scott
Aurora Perrineau
Hayley Kiyoko
Molly Ringwald
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User Reviews
Let's get down to brass tax, folks: Jem and the Holograms is out to rob you of your money. I don't mean that literally, like the movie comes in to your pockets and takes it all away, but... well, it's pretty close to that. Now, first off, two positive notes here: 1), the lead of the movie as "Jem", Aubrey Peeples, is a charming young actress and is ideally cast (Juliette Lewis is good too... at first, until she has to repeat the same thing scene after scene). Peeples is not a mind-blowingly amazing singer, but she is decent enough with just her screen presence on her own, and I hope to see her in other movies. Secondly, the cinematography, for the *actual film*, is nice to look at, at least when you can tell what's going on (some of the film is edited quickly in its clichéd style. So, not completely terrible. Just mostly.
Why does this movie 'pocket' your money? It has no good reason to exist, for one thing. It posits itself as being out there for fans of the show and young girls, that I assume is the primary audience for this movie (and I guess people like me who hear about a notorious movie and get curious, but I digress). It's not good for either; while I have not seen much of the original 80's show - it had its 15 minutes just before I got into TV as a kid, and it didn't seem to have the longevity that other shows at the time did, even as nostalgia - I don't know what it has to do with the series except for the smallest references. Maybe because it would be slightly less intolerable as a cartoon(?) Who knows. As for young/teenage girls, it just loads up so many clichés into one movie to the point where it looks like it's about to explode: it's all about telling girls to keep positive and put their music out there... because people can become sensationally famous from 36,000 YouTube views, you know.
It's supposed to have some kind of basis with the Justin Bieber phenomenon (the Bieber doc from a few years back had the same director as this by the way, mega-hack John M Chu). Forget that it took Bieber years of putting his stuff out there, and putting *himself* out there, but the fame for Jerrica-cum-Jem comes from one not-very-good song that gets a ton of hits. This movie doesn't understand how social media or youtube or fans of pop music really works, and that's what makes it insulting since, well, young girls and teenagers use this stuff practically more than anyone else out there!
As for the plot, goodness, which part? There's a robot named Synergy which Jerrica's (dead) father made when she was a little girl, and the robot has been in her possession for all these years and it finally comes alive as this super-advanced-piece-of-AI (i.e. this could've been a robot in WALL-E), and what does the robot do... it gives Jerrica clues that are sending her to different parts of the city - one of them just happens to be one of the gigs that Jem plays with her sister and fellow foster-family people - and it all leads up to a revelation that is... a video that is a, well, should I spoil this? To say that it is one of the most underwhelming things in movie history isn't hyperbole, especially if you are actually invested (somehow) in this story.
This movie jumbles this half-***ed plot with the rise-and-sorta-fall-and-OK thing with this pop group and what happens when Juliette Lewis' would-be evil music promoter gets her hands on them and after forming them into pop stars she makes Jem sign with her to go solo... because she's somehow so far more talented than the rest of the group(!)
The idea is to emphasize the theme of togetherness of family, but the filmmakers go through the clichés of a group falling apart and coming back together in such a short span of time it doesn't mean anything. The conflict here is confounding and lame, and it leads up to a wholly, ridiculously unnecessary heist sub-plot involving objects that should NOT have to be stolen. And how do these objects work as they do in the movie? Jem and the Holograms is also cheap as hell, which is interesting given how this is from a major studio (Universal, mostly on a roll this year with mega-hits), and also from the same toy company that put out this show as well as Transformers and My Little Pony in the 80's. I think Corman put more money into Rock N Roll High School. I'd say it was a cash grab about the property of the cartoon, but were people clamoring for it?
It's a cynical move that even involves just regular people - I doubt the YouTube commenters who are featured in the film were paid much less are actors - and if it didn't have this name and licensed piece of whatever then it would be at best on the Disney channel. So much of the movie either doesn't make sense, or features to keep people's attention the lamest pop music ever; I was pining for the days of Tiffany, it's that level of WTF.
It's one thing to make a movie that panders to an audience. It's another thing to mess up which audience it's for and mess up the attraction part of it all. It's not even the Transformers for girls, it's too cheap for that (and distractingly so, notice the audiences for the Jem shows that is cheated to look bigger than it is). To put it another way, look how the actual NAME of the movie is crowbarred in at the very end. It's that level of monumental (if occasionally watchable) BS.IMBD
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